Birth Mystics

The Day Boy & the Night Girl

The Day Boy and the Night Girl is a powerful myth written by Scottish author George MacDonald and was published in 1880. Today, Stephanie peels back some of its many layers to reveal impactful insights around the integration of masculine and feminine, light and dark. So much of fear, in birth and life, stems from lack of familiarity and facing the unknown. How can we spend more time acquainting ourselves with the parts of ourselves that are lesser known so that we can build that familiarity? This draws interesting parallels to brainwave patterns and spending intentional time preparing for birth in Alpha and Theta states of being. Dive deep into the world of Photogen and Nycteris, the Day Boy and the Night Girl, as they teach us more about our own inner worlds.
To learn more about Stephanie's work, please visit her website: bhavabirth.com. You can also connect with her on Instagram @bhava_birth.

Medusa

In today's episode, Katie shares the Greek myth of Medusa, pulling in some key and lesser known backstory, shedding light on what up to her becoming the snake-haired terror that turns men to stone. She draws upon the imagery of Perseus' shield, what he used to defeat Medusa, to guide all of us as we heal from trauma. Drawing from Peter Levine's teachings, Katie brings this compassionate and important discussion into the world of birth and personal empowerment.
To learn more about Katie's work, visit her website: freyabirth.com. You can also connect with her through IG: @freyabirth.
Source cited: Healing Trauma, by Peter Lavine

Brainwaves & Consciousness

Stephanie shares one of the greatest birth hacks of all time--understanding brainwaves and consciousness. Brainwaves are a Western empirical understanding of how thoughts emit certain frequencies, whereas consciousness is an Eastern spiritual understanding of how we experience oneness. When these traditions overlap, we discover astounding relevance for our birth experiences and our lives. By understanding where your brain is trying to take you during labor, you can help it along by adapting your environment, trusting the process, and surrendering to the descent. When we don't understand this process, we often fight against it unknowingly, especially if we love being in control, leading to more adverse outcomes.To follow Stephanie's work, you can visit her website, bhavabirth.com, or follow her on IG: @bhava_birth.

Selkie

Katie masterfully brings together the Celtic mythology of Selkies and the journey of birth. Selkies are mythological creatures that shape shift from seal to human by removing or putting on their seal skin. What lessons do Selkies teach us? What symbolism can we draw upon to support spiritual and emotional transformation? Listen in as Katie and Stephanie plunge into the deep end with today's magical episode.
To follow Katie's work, you can visit her website, freyabirth.com, or follow her on IG: @freyabirth.

The Yellow Wallpaper

Stephanie leads a discussion on the powerful short story The Yellow Paper, a semi-autobiographical novella written at the turn of the century by Charlotte Perkins Gillman. This is a compelling, haunting story of a woman's rebirth that is tragically thwarted; she is prescribed the rest cure during her postpartum, separated from her baby and loved ones, and confined to an old nursery in a cottage house in the remote countryside. Stephanie walks you through the symptoms of her thwarted awakening as a tale of woe, giving us a crystal clear template of what not to do. This story couldn't be more pertinent today as our society faces an alarming rise of PMADs. We've been conditioned to fear postpartum and deeply misunderstand its healing potential. In this episode, postpartum is reclaimed and redefined, giving us a new paradigm to identify and support the too often overlooked symptoms of our own awakening.
To follow Stephanie's work, you can visit her website, bhavabirth.com, or follow her on IG: @bhava_birth.

Intentional Conception

Katie shares about the birth of her fourth child and the intentionality that went into. Along with Stephanie, they discuss how to bring more mindfulness into motherhood, beginning with the act of conception itself.
To learn more about Katie's work, visit freyabirth.com.

Covert Control

Our inner impulse to control birth (and life) is so deeply engrained that sometimes, if we use fancy new vocabulary words and dress it up in euphemisms, we think we have escaped it. But in this episode, Stephanie identifies covert tendencies for control found within three prominent worldviews. Call it whatever you'd like--divine favor, manifestation, evidence--it's still that sneaky friend we call control and it will wreak havoc, if left unchecked, in your birth experience.
To learn more about Stephanie's work, visit bhavabirth.com.

Season 2 Introduction: We're Back!

Doulas Katie and Stephanie give a brief update with their businesses and personal lives. They also share their newest definition of "birth mystic" and what to expect with season two.

Lilith, Eve & the Serpent

What are the formative birth stories of your life? This is an important question to ask yourself as you prepare to give birth. You may think about the birth stories of your closest friends, family members, ancestors, and even media portrayals of birth. These stories influence and affect you, some in positive ways, some in not so positive ways. One kind of formative birth story that gets overlooked is the creation story. We are only as good as our creation story allows us to be. Yes, creation stories show us where we came from, but they can also show us where we're headed. They embody the full spectrum of human potential—what is the fullest measure of my creation and how can I rise to that?
Stephanie was raised in the paradigm of Western Christianity and was brought up with the story of Adam and Eve. As an adult she has studied many other creation stories, including evolution, and has made peace between these seemingly contradictory stories. Eve particularly was the most prominent female icon that she had been encouraged to emulate. There were so few female role models provided scripturally or historically, so Eve really stood out! But even though Eve was so revered, paradoxically she is punished for the choice she made. Why punish her for doing something good? If she was so righteous, why does she disobey God's command? Stephanie was determined to figure her out.
Other areas of interest were happening in Stephanie's life, including yoga teacher training which opened up the topic of Kundalini Shakti—the mystical feminine power represented as a serpent. It felt like a contradiction to the snake represented in the garden as Satan or evil. How does Eve get caught in the middle of these two interpretations? Was she tempted by the Devil or deeply in tune with her internal feminine power? Until Stephanie could crack this mystery she felt limited in her potential.
Stumbling upon the myth of Lilith shed profound light. The Midrash says that Adam had another wife named Lilith before Eve came alone. Lilith and Eve lived in the garden quite happily until the day that Lilith desired more equality in their relationship. Lilith sometimes asked to be on top when they made love but Adam refused. Over time, Lilith was done trying. She called out the forbidden name of God, causing her to grow wings and fly out of the garden. This angered Adam who also called out to God demanding help. God sent seraphim to chase after Lilith who then punished her. She was cursed to become a succubus who would seduce men in their sleep and prey upon newborn babies.
You can look up artwork and depictions of the Adam and Eve story and likely come upon a serpent with the face of a woman. This is where Lilith comes into play. The myth continues by saying that Lilith came to Eve in the form of a serpent, mentoring her to partake of the fruit. This was when things began to resolve in Stephanie's mind. We have been taught to spurn the serpent, when all along the serpent is actually our feminine power! And what if Lilith and Eve are not two women, but one. What if they have been separated out from one another. Eve represents the acceptable woman: long suffering, patient, kind, loving, supportive, and obedient. Lilith represents the demonic woman, or the succubus, but really only seeking equality with her partner, having sexual desire, emancipated, free-thinking, and independent. One was good, one was bad. But the serpent heals this rift. How ironic that we've been encouraged to be like one of the biggest rebels of scripture! Eve is a badass! Especially when she's merged back together with her Lilith counterpart!
Let's take a minute and list some qualities that we learn from these two archetypes and how it translates into the birth space.
Eve qualities: innocence, obedience, hard-working, responsible, commitment, dutiful, pre-pubescent, non-sexual, good girl, nice, etc. How can this serve us in the birth space? Preparing very thoroughly for birth, a high capacity to persevere and endure, grounded and committed to seeing it through, saying "YES," and obedience to self.
Lilith: flaming red hair, curves and sex appeal, wrapped in a snake, naughty, bad girl, rebelliousness, wanting equality, etc. How can this serve us in the birth space? Firing a bad provider, not putting up with abuse, determined self-advocacy, saying "NO," being loud and making noise, and embracing the animalistic.
Now here's a homework assignment for you! On a blank piece of paper create three columns with Eve, Lilith, and the Serpent at the top of each one. Take the time to write out your own qualities of each archetype. Then, google search these images and compare and contrast their visual representations. Observe their movement and body language. Bring it all together in how they can play an important role in your birth space.
For more information on Stephanie's work, visit bhavabirth.com

Tui & La

Today we are diving into the land of fantasy. Katie was hugely influenced in her childhood by Avatar the Last Airbender. It's a story centered around the four elements: fire, water, wind, and earth. There is also a side world connected to it called the Spirit World full of entities that possess different powers or abilities. In the beginning of the creation of the physical realm many powerful spirits chose to give up their mortality in order to create the Earth. The two we are discussing today are Tui and La representing the Moon and the ocean. They created a secret place in the North where they lived as two fish and were guarded by the Water Nation. They represent the necessary push and pull of life. We see this everywhere in nature.
Stephanie talks about centripetal and centrifugal forces, where one pushes and one pulls, and yet when they work together we are held in orbit. Without the push and pull we couldn't exist. And the balance is so delicate! How have we not flown wildly out of orbit? What keeps this balance? Some other examples in nature:
The symbiosis of trees exchanging carbon dioxide for oxygen
Weather patterns
Bodily cycles that involve contracting and expanding: breath, circulatory system, musculature, etc.
Birth itself is a beautiful example. Consider the uterus and how it is designed to be a contract and expand organ. When you're pregnant, the mass of the uterus muscle is down toward the cervix which helps maintain the placenta and keep the baby in its place. During labor that muscle migrates or ripples, through each contraction, up toward the top. This process thins, effaces, and dilates the cervix making birth possible. This top-heavy uterus also applies downward pressure on the baby to aid in the delivery process.
Labor is typified by push and pull, both physically and emotionally. The word contraction speaks exactly to the physiology of what's happening. Sometimes we swap that term for "expansion," and yet the uterus is actually contracting during a contraction. We can reclaim the term and hold it more neutrally, or infuse it with power, rather than stigmatizing it as painful. However, in between contractions is when the softening occurs. Labor is the marriage of work and rest. Emotionally, you will have times have confidence and strength and exertion, and times of receiving, needing, and doubt. This is both good and natural.
Katie speaks the importance of this balance, to not try to push, push, push our way through birth or life. We are more conditioned to being strong than we are to being soft and vulnerable. Stephanie mentions how the phrase "empowered birth" too often implies "I didn't need any interventions" or "I was quiet and internal." But it can look like so many different things! You can ask for help, require interventions, and have things entirely against what you had planned AND it can still be empowering based on your balance of the push and pull. Let us have reverence for the complex and delicate process of birth, to release expectations and self-judgement. Psychology and science are starting to ask how our emotional and mental well-being interact with our physical well-being. For so long in our culture these areas were disconnected. We're starting to understand that all the different aspects of who we are are interconnected.
Consider the process of birth, how the baby, in a way, takes two steps forward and one step back—a distinct forward and back. And though this can feel like a set back, it is a mercy! Every time the baby descends blood flows into those tissues. This prepares the body! Without that back and forth we would see much more damage to the body. Your body is wise. It's protecitng you and your baby at all times in the best way that it can.
Katie shares about a doula that was supporting a client in labor. In the middle of pushing, the Mom asked everyone to step out so she could rest. Everyone honored her wishes and allowed her to sleep for about 20 minutes. Then the providers came back in and she pushed her baby out in one push! How beautiful that there was a visceral work and rest, even within the pushing stage!
Within the natural birth community it's often posed that all medical interventions are bad. That has its own danger. There are absolutely times that these interventions are supportive, necessary, and life-saving! Having expert guides along your birthing journey is not dismissive of your body's wisdom. You can have both kinds of expertise—internal and external. It's not one or the other, my body knows everything or doctors know everything.
One way to find a balance between these two extremes is through the question, "Is this intervention being done to me or being utilized for me?" This is the difference between victimization and empowerment. It invites choice and intention, ensuring that YOU are choosing rather than being acted upon. And also looking at your mindset and cultivating resilience by letting go of rigid expectations. Birth trauma can happen through abuse and also from plans changing or expectations being dashed. Non-judgement invites true empowerment in the birth space. It surpasses outcomes, methods, or labels (VBAC, hypno-birth, home birth, etc.). Birth is an experience. It's a process. That is all that is asked of us.
Balance is not defined by ease or lack of difficulty. In reality, balance is resilience. The moon and the ocean. The push and the pull. When we are unwilling to engage in the uncomfortableness of life, our own resistance creates pain. The only way we can thrive and prosper is through balance, the change of seasons, the light and dark, the give and take. How boring would life be without that pattern of high and low. Consider the echocardiogram that show us a visual of life—it's a rise and fall, rise and fall, over and over again. Flatlining is death.
Whatever you birth was or whatever it will be, there will be bitter and sweet. But what is the story you're telling yourself about that birth? How can you process through it. What parts of that story are true and not true? Through that processing, you can find balance. 
For more information about Katie's work, please visit freyabirth.com.